Discussion: Boundaries (4) * Module 6 Page 18 (6/8) School-Age CCB

School-Age Child Care Basics

Discussion: Boundaries (4) * Module 6 Page 18 (6/8) School-Age CCB

2/1/2017

70 Comments

Statement 4:

Giving kids hugs is an important way to show you care.

Indicate if you “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree”. Share why.

70 Comments

Zelda

2/10/2017 10:23:33 am

Giving hugs can be a tricky situation. Some cultures may prefer not to hug and likewise some kids do not like hugs. It is also not acceptable to initiate a hug with a child, but if a child wants to hug a caregiver a side-hug or pat on the back is fine for most kids. Kids with a sensory issue may have different boundaries, though, and need to be considered.

supraja

3/28/2017 02:04:39 pm

kids need hugs .
that will show them how much we are taking care of them and how important they are to us.
some kids who are going to daycare will miss their parents and they want to share what happened in school and with friends.
in some situations like when their feeling hurt by some one at school they want to share and cry. that time they expect hug or some positive words about them or which can give them positive feeling.
I sure agree with hugs to show them how much we care.
for school age kids need hugs. If some kids don't want any hug or its their culture then caregiver can say some words which can help them feeling better. mostly kids want support in some situations. that time as per situation, age and their mood we can give hug and calm them.

Laura

6/7/2017 08:30:42 am

Typically I am not a hugger since it doesn't always work so well with crutches. That doesn't mean I don't ever hug, but it means the kids always initiate contact at their comfort level and it easily leads into other conversations about both physical and cultural differences. We talk about word hugs, things that you say that make people feel safer and closer to each other.

Matthew Woodruff

6/12/2017 07:19:44 am

Kids do need hugs. I'm ok with that.

Kayla Kautzman

6/13/2017 07:40:05 am

I strongly agree. Hugs are so important! They can change a childs day. They also show you care and will make them feel important

Robert Smith

8/27/2017 05:32:29 pm

Strongly agree

Hugs give kids reassurance that they are loved and cared for.

Mikaela Ramirez

9/1/2017 11:02:50 am

I think hugs are very important. I'm not much of a hugger, but there are some children at my site who need that physical reassurance to feel welcomed and included. We do have to keep in mind of our site's policy and opt for side hugs as oppose to frontal hugs. A quick step to the side makes it easy to adjust. I never initiate hugs, but in my experience the huggers in my group will always ask first and I always thank them for doing so.

Allyssa Coburn

9/15/2017 05:00:15 pm

A strongly agree.
I'm a big hugger, but I also allow the kids to come to me, rather than hugging them first. I don't initiate hugs, rather, I let the children decide if they want to hug me or not.

I'm a big hugger for kids who are sad or miss their parents. I'm a believer in the fact that if a child is distraught, and sad or misses mom and dad, I am not leaving them alone. That doesn't mean I'm going to cradle them like a baby and rock them to sleep.. But I do hug them, and let them sit on my lap while they cry, and I calmly talk to them, and re-assure them that their parents will be showing up, and eventually they are back playing with their friends.

A little affection goes a long way...

jay

9/17/2017 01:29:41 pm

I am actually against hugs unless a kid is crying and actually needs one. I do not believe we should just be giving hugs to every kid because I don't feel like we should be that affectionate towards a child. there are many different ways we could show affection like high fives or fist bumps.

Daniel Getchel

9/17/2017 09:01:43 pm

As a male educator I am extra cautious with body contact. I will only hug a child in a ceremonial circumstance or if a child is deeply hurt and I have a good relationship with the child's family.

Ramsey

9/30/2017 09:58:02 pm

If initiated by the child I think it's very important to give the hug. Often the child is attempting to show affection or seeking comfort and in both those cases it is an opportunity to show that you care.

ganame

10/18/2017 03:37:11 pm

I think you not giving the kid a hug is appropiate but if they come up and give you one i think its more then ok. kids love hugs and makes them feel loved. be the boss and if the hug is to long let the kid know

Christina Betz

10/22/2017 10:18:58 am

I strongly agree. Though it is important to create boundaries, some children need hugs to show support and reassurance.

Chelsey ONeal

10/31/2017 10:00:53 pm

Giving kids hugs is an important way to show you care.
Indicate if you “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree”. Share why

I do strongly agree that if a child is okay with you giving them a hug then it is okay because you are showing them that you care but I do believe that there are many other important ways to show them that you care as well not just by showing affection but also by listening to them and giving them chances to be a leader and to display their knowledge and creativity or even just by recognizing them. If I was a parent I really do believe showing your affection to children is very important but as a caregiver there are healthy boundaries that do need to be set in order for the children to develop those healthy boundaries as well.

Sarah Wood

11/10/2017 07:55:57 pm

I think giving children hugs promotes positive human contact. It may be the only affection the child receives and it lets the child know that he/she is cared for and it is comforting.

Esmeralda Jimenez Zenteno

11/26/2017 12:27:01 am

I agree that hugs are very tricky. Some kids do not like hugs, but there some children that love to give hugs. It gives them reassurance that they are loved by people around them. There are other ways to show you care, but if they ask for the hug- then it is okay to give them a hug.

Hannah

11/27/2017 09:48:03 pm

I strongly agree that kids need hugs. While there are many kids that physical contact is something they're just not into, for a lot of other kids physical affection is a big deal for them. I'm not a big 'hugger' but I understand that it's important to them and it makes them feel cared for, which ultimately is a big part of my job that I'm not going to deny them.

Kiera

12/9/2017 10:25:43 am

I don't think I feel strongly either way. Children need hugs or don't need hugs. I think they can grow and mature greatly either way and it's really up to them what they need. However I would never refuse a child a hug and I think that's the difference. Some children don't need hugs all the time, or ever. But there are other children that will want to hug you every time they see you, and some will what to give you big long hugs. I think the importance comes in whether or not you are willing to hug them. Because the child that need those long hugs every day, if you deny them it can hurt them. They might feel ashamed for asking, they might feel like you don't care about them, and it's worse if maybe you're the only adult the child feels like in their life cares about them. One anecdote I have about this is a 5th grade boy who's got a single mom who isn't the most involved or loving parent (according to the child), he always acted out, with in the group that caused trouble, then one day he walked up to me and just rested his head on me, so I put an arm around him, just to say 'I see you, I'm here for you, and you matter'. And then the next day he came up and just stood in front of me and stared at me, so I said "would you like a hug?" and he said "well I guess I could have one" and he hugged me. Now he comes in and hugs me everyday, he's one of the most helpful kids in our program, really acts like a leader for the younger ones, and has turned his behavior around.

So I say let the kids make the decision if it's important and just be there with open arms for them.

Misty Phillips

12/18/2017 11:42:40 am

Erik link

12/23/2017 12:22:51 pm

I think that kids need hugs, as long as they are appropriate and consistent. Kindergarteners coming to school for the first time need some attention and comfort, and to neglect that will create a lack of trust and a barrier between the two of you.

Jessica

12/31/2017 02:05:16 pm

I believe hugs are not an important way to show that you care, it may help show but there are other ways to show children you care without giving hugs. Some children are not comfortable with them from a staff member, but the ones that are its okay as long as its appropriate

Tessa Nobles

12/31/2017 05:56:20 pm

I strongly agree with the statement. There is tons of research on the value of physical touch in the emotional well being of children and adults alike. That cannot be disputed. However, the implementation of said hugs is much more complicated. Physical contact with children in your care can blur the lines of professionalism, and unfortunately in this day and age, open yourself up to accusations and lawsuits. In general, I do not hug children daily, or even weekly. If I ever do hug, I ask them first if they want a hug. Usually, this is in response to a big emotional event, when physical contact can help them break out of a cycle of distress. However, if it is not wanted, I will not hug them. When one of the children hug me, I inform them they need to allow me personal space. They also need to ask if I want to hug. I also explain I have the right to say no, just like they do.

Elizabeth

1/3/2018 09:04:10 pm

I strongly agree with this, children need comfort, love, guidance and support and all that can be said with a hug. Now there's a time and a place and you shouldn't be hugging your kids 10 times a day but a good hug or two a day is important.

Margaret

1/4/2018 11:27:37 pm

I agree with the situation. Hugs are an important way to express care in a familiar way for children, but I also agree that they are something you need to be careful with. I will only hug children if they first ask if they can hug me, and even in those cases I will keep the contact to a minimum and only to a side or one-armed hug. If a child tries to hug me without asking first, I will express that I need physical space and that it is very important for them to ask before initiating hugs or other forms of physical contact.

Natalie

1/7/2018 12:20:06 pm

I strongly agree that kids need hugs. It builds connection and relationships. It brings people closer and it makes them feel good and happy. It show that you care and makes you a more inviting person.

Arriana Cinocco

1/7/2018 01:43:40 pm

I agree that giving kids hugs is important to show that you care because in most cases, especially the younger children, the vocabulary that demonstrates caring through words or actions isn't as developed yet. Hugs as affection are simple and straightforward and are a quick way to foster trust and safety. However, it is important to maintain boundaries. I always stick to the rule that I never initiate anything physical other than a high-five or pat on the back. If a child wants a hug, I wait for them to initiate or ask. Anything outside these realms is something to be vigilant of to maintain boundaries.

Christina Sosa

1/8/2018 10:10:40 pm

Scenario 4: Giving kids hugs is an important way to show you care.

My opinion: Personally, I think it is okay to give hugs to children because sometimes they don't get enough affection at home, so they look for it elsewhere. I generally do not initiate hugs, but if the child gives me a hug, I do not push them away or say they can't hug me. I always try to give side hugs to maintain a professional boundary. However, I do not allow kids to sit on my lap because to me that is crossing a professional boundary.

Sarah

1/14/2018 03:15:24 am

I strongly agree a hug can help a child feel better, safe, and loved.

Brandy

1/21/2018 09:26:14 am

I think that giving hugs can be great for some children but not for others. I work with 3 and 4 year olds. I let the children take the lead. By getting to know them and what they need to calm, recover from a hurt, or for positive afformation. Some children are huggers, some want a high five, some just some positive words. It is different for each child and up to me to know my students. I have some students with different sensory challenges and or different cultural backgrounds where hugging is not comfortable for them.

Barry Kronmal

1/22/2018 08:47:12 am

A hug in my opinion is a great way to give validation and warmth to a young child. Some children do not like being hugged or it is culturally unacceptable for them. that is great too. Some children light up after you give them a hug.

Ashley Tufford

2/5/2018 02:18:41 pm

I think it's very important to OFFER hugs (if that is what the adult is comfortable with). Of course don't force hugs, definitely ask the kid first if they want to hug. Physical contact is crucial for development, more and more so the younger the child is. By asking permission and telling them if you are or are not okay with a hug yourself also teaches them boundaries for themselves and the concept of consent.

Elijah Jordan

2/16/2018 01:32:04 pm

Christopher

2/19/2018 12:17:26 pm

In my opinion, hugging is an important way to show children that I do care about them. However, I also don't think it is something that I should do constantly. Especially as a male teacher if I am constantly touching and hugging children it could look bad, so I make sure I set boundaries with my children and that they know they should ask someone before hugging.

Daisy Abrio

2/20/2018 01:27:46 pm

I strongly disagree because there are different ways to show you care. Example: awarding them with a free-time or they can decide from 1-3 what they want to do for the next 1/2 day or can pick what game to play at the gym.

Karen Fallows

2/21/2018 11:20:55 am

People in general need physical contact. I would have to say hugs are a good thing.

Eileen

2/24/2018 03:49:45 pm

I agree with this statement. I think it is important to give children hugs. It shows that you care, and it allows youth to express themselves. Rejecting a hug, which is how some children are taught to show love or appreciation may hurt a child's feelings. However, I think it is very important to have boundaries when it comes to hugging. I personally only use side hugs, where you are shoulder to shoulder with a child. Additionally, I try to teach the importance of asking a person if it is okay to give them a hug before you actually touch them. This is meant to teach kids about boundaries not only for themselves but also for those around them.

jordan

2/26/2018 11:33:50 am

hugs are a wonderful way to express you care but you also need to respect the child's boundary, i always ask the child if they would like a hug

Evan Prieskop

3/15/2018 05:56:28 pm

As a male child-care worker I am always acutely aware of the stigma and cultural caution associated with any physical contact between me and any child, but i believe the only way barriers fall is if people push against them. I rarely hug any child, but when the child's need for physical comfort is obvious, standing back out of fear of misperception is an act of "professionalism" that borders on sociopathy and I act in the best interest of the child, not myself.

Hannah Ellertson

3/27/2018 01:30:04 pm

Hugs can be very helpful when they are consensual. People are saying hugs can be tricky. yes some kids feel so much better after a hug. but some kids may really not like it. especially if it wasnt asked for first.

Emma

4/10/2018 09:16:48 pm

I think hugs are important, because you really don't know what is going on in a kid's home life; what if the only time s/he is getting a hug is at childcare? However, it's also important to set/enforce boundaries and enforce personal space, so I think it's better to allow the kids to initiate hugs. I like to initiate high fives as a way to show positive emotions, and we don't deny hugs (unless the kids become too touchy, in which case we try to enforce consent/asking for hugs), but I think it's important for the kids to have agency over their bodies and get to initiate the hugs.

Susan Urbatsch

8/25/2018 12:21:35 pm

I wholeheartedly agree. Whereas I would never initiate a hug with a child, some of my children do frequently. I find the ones who hug me or hold my hand tend be the ones who have a deep emotional need to do so, whether it be because they are on the spectrum and show connection through tactile expression OR have serious turmoil in their home environment. It reassures them I am there for them and I care about them and want them to feel safe and comfortable.

Tina

4/21/2018 11:18:56 am

Kids need hugs because they need to feel like they matter. They do. They should feel loved by one another.

Rachel Hanna

4/22/2018 06:09:16 pm

Statement 4 I strongly agree with, almost everyday most of my kids run up to me and hug me. If it's a way they show how they care than giving a hug in return means we do as well.

yulia

4/27/2018 10:42:26 pm

I think yes. Especially for younger children. Most of the time of the day they spend in school and hugs is a way to show them the care and sense of protection.

Brian Smith

5/1/2018 10:50:52 am

Some people here have encouraged kid hugging. However, and especially as I am male, I avoid any direct or indirect physical contact with a child. Instead, soothing discussion or compassionate speech is appropriate. I cannot risk litigation due to misunderstanding or misinterpretation of touching a child or having someone "perceive" that I have touched a child.

Audrey

5/10/2018 03:21:49 pm

I feel that making a connection with the students in your facility is important and when you are able to establish a strong connection it is fantastic.

There are many ways to make a physical connection with a child that doesn't involve body contact. While side hugs are OK, high-fives, and fist bumps have grown in popularity with children and staff.

It is fun for them and engaging for both ends of the party.

Briana BergeronEmery

5/13/2018 09:34:41 pm

I think the topic of hugs can be tricky. I personally am not a hugger by nature, however I know that kids often need that physical reassurance from a hug. I don't initiate hugs, however if a child requests one, I will attempt to do the side hug as best as possible. I think it's really important to respect childrens boundaries and not push physical contact.

Sarah barnes

5/14/2018 12:28:00 pm

I don't like the statment "give hugs" i don't think it is ever appropriate to ask a child for a hug. I do however acxept hugs from children if they ask for one or just run up and hug me. This way it is always in the childs power to decide if they are comfortable hugging me.

Meghan

5/16/2018 12:24:47 pm

I strongly agree, but i would rather have the child asking for a hug instead of just giving one because they might not be comfortable receiving one.

Spencer H

5/18/2018 08:53:25 pm

Hugs may be construed as inappropriate to children's families or other staff, and I believe that verbally expressing the worth and emotional well-being of each child is just as effective. That being said, if a student has had a rough day and wants to be hugged, it wouldn't be good to refuse them. Context and established boundaries are important in the childcare setting.

Heather Hakenewerth

6/2/2018 06:33:34 pm

Not every child wants to be touched. If a child initiates a hug I will reciprocate. But I will not initiate one, because I would not want to offend said child.

Alicia

6/18/2018 10:11:52 pm

I think that hugs for children are very important, they show affection and can do more for a child's state of mind than words sometimes. It shows that you care and that you are there when you need them. However, while working in a professional setting, it is always best to be cautious, and I never hug a child first. If they do decide to hug me, I always keep it short and try to affirm them with words as well afterwords.

Sandy C

6/24/2018 12:42:28 pm

I agree but I also thinks it depends on the situation. I don't randomly give out hugs. Often a child approaches me and asks me for a hug. Other times, they ask for a hug when they are very upset or when they have been hurt. There is always another teacher in the room or on the playground with me. I never approach a child and give then a hug.

Sandy C

6/24/2018 12:44:07 pm

I agree. I also believe it depends on the situation. I don't randomly give out hugs. Often a child approaches me and asks me for a hug. Other times, they ask for a hug when they are very upset or when they have been hurt. There is always another teacher in the room or on the playground with me. I never approach a child and give then a hug.

Kristina Black

6/28/2018 09:09:45 am

I strongly believe hugs should be OK. I believe children need to be shown affection. That being said and in my practice I do not initiate hugs but i will hug the child if they hug me. We are trained to do side hugs if a child initiates wanting a hug.

Jolie Monasterio

8/14/2018 02:04:28 pm

I disagree with initiating a hug - I think that crosses a boundary and can place the child in an awkward situation that can be interpreted as sexual misconduct.

I agree with returning a hug initiated by a child if it is a side hug because if a child initiates it, it usually means you have made a connection with the child and built trust. It can help the child feel valued.

Marissa Savage

9/3/2018 05:21:11 pm

I feel that I both agree and disagree with this statement. I know there are situations where hugs are all a child needs to feel better or know that they are loved, but then there are other situations where I feel that teaching boundaries and other coping skills are important. I hug my friends a lot, but I also have family and particular friends who are not ok with often hugs. If we hug a student all the time, when they transition into a situation where hugs are not an all the time thing it could get them into uncomfortable situations with their peers and potentially teachers.

Marshall Copeland

9/4/2018 01:51:59 pm

I strongly disagree with statement #4. Giving kids hugs is a good way to show that you care, but it is not an IMPORTANT way to do so. Appropriate hugs at appropriate times are always reasonable. Anything more than that is doing too much.

Sandi Silverio Hurtado

10/2/2018 02:58:07 pm

I disagree with giving money to those kids who don't have because other kids will see what I did and will ask me for money along the way. So if I say no and tell the kids I have no money all the time, that will be a fair statement for everyone when they ask me for money.

Lisa Russell

10/23/2018 01:12:24 pm

I half agree with this statement. Some kids need hugs to show affection, other kids would be uncomfortable with hugs. It has to do with their personal feelings about physical affection. I would never want to make a child feel uncomfortable. That's why it's always important to ask before hugging a child. once you know the kids and weather or not they are ok with hugs then yes, if they are huggers then hug them. if they aren't keep your space.

Ian A

10/31/2018 03:49:38 am

Statement 2: Social Media is an effective strategy to build relationships with youth.

It was, 8 years ago. It is no longer an effective method. Kids (particularly at the age I teach) shouldnt even HAVE computers, let alone their own social media accounts. That's nothing to state about the numerous adverse health effects on constant social media attention (lower self esteem, quality of life) that you would be promoting by engaging with kids in this manner. Overall it's a terrible idea.

Nizhoni

10/31/2018 10:37:11 pm

I don't believe giving hugs is important for older kids. I work with younger than 5 and giving hugs is very important to show that you care or that they are safe.

magdalene McRae

11/4/2018 12:32:09 am

I believe in giving hugs but I do have boundaries around them. I only give a hug if verbally asked and if they don’t ask remind them of our ask first policy. Beside that I only maintain a hug for a few moments and don’t give long cuddle sessions. Our relationship is important but it should be made clear its not the same as their relationship with their family.

Carl Patillo

12/30/2018 11:13:00 pm

I like Sarah's answer to the comment about giving hugs to kids: "I think giving children hugs promotes positive human contact. It may be the only affection the child receives and it lets the child know that he/she is cared for and it is comforting."

I am a male. And I strongly agree. I would call the issue responding with a hug as oppose to saying "I am giving them a hug." I work for a childcare and also for school districts. I hardly initiate hugs to kids. But, I am always responding when they begin hugging me. I try to respond with side hugs.

I think that there are other ways for engage in positive touch. I do initiate a quick touch on their shoulder or back. I have noticed that a few kids are standoffish to that. They seem not to realize that I am just giving them a positive touch. They act like I am trying to hit them. I am pretty sure it is because they themselves are not used to that. So, kids are different concerning hugs and other kind of positive touches. We really do have to know the kid uniquely.

It is customary to ask if we could touch them on the shoulder or on the back as well (nothing lower than that). As Sarah suggested in her comment, it may be the only display of affection that these kids have been getting in their lives.

Jaime Galindo

1/1/2019 08:51:50 pm

It can be one way but it depends on the student and how the relationship is with the student I think it works best when it’s same sex hugs also depends on age

julianne villarreal

1/6/2019 09:04:22 am

kids need hugs to show affection and I'm always willing to give a hug back if the childs initiates it. children need to feel loved and cared for want that reciprocated

Alex T

1/7/2019 12:08:18 am

I think it is okay to give hugs, it shows kids that they are cared for and you are there for the, But at work we are advised to only give side hugs to make sure nothing inappropriate happens.

Sarah Pogson

1/9/2019 01:08:04 pm

I think that there are other good ways of showing you care, and hugs are not always needed. But if you decided that a hug would help comfort a child, make sure you ask if they would like a hug and make it clear they can always say no. When used well not only is it a good way to show sympathy it can be an excellent way to teach boundaries and their own right to their bodies

Marcos

1/27/2019 12:07:57 pm

As a male staff I think its okay but only for certain reasons because being that huggy staff member is a little off to where kids go to you with open arms and want a hug then its ok but i think thats the only right way.

Danielle

2/11/2019 02:56:17 pm

In our program we encourage hugs as long as you always ask permission first. We have explained to the kids that not everyone enjoys hugs or being touched and that in order to make sure we are respecting each other we always ask first.

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